the case for financial ruin

Published: 8 jan 2026

Long time no see albie.catters.

Today I’ll write about the worst financial decision I’ve made yet: a 1996 BMW Z3. This model year is only available with the M44 which Z3 enthusiasts say only dumbasses like me would want to own.

bmw z3 with sum dumbass doin some gay ass pose on the front

The car’s selling points include being $4500 and having under 120k miles and one owner. It was a very clean example of a very beautiful car, and I’m very partial towards the Boston green paint. That car is quite easy to maneuver around the city and is still fun to drive despite being horrifyingly underpowered for a BMW.

I haven’t done too much yet but there are so many things I want to try that I’m going to have to meter myself in order to stay self-sufficient if I get inevitably fired from my job that I suck at. (more on that later.)

what i’ve done so far

To show my amazing prioritization skills, I’ll list all of the items I did in order.

  • New tires. The old rubber was maybe 7 years old so I thought it a good idea to replace them before going on any long drives.
  • Preliminary Oil Change.
    • This oil change was awfully cursed by the way. Ended up coating my friend’s garage in oil.
  • Replaced the center caps on the wheel (amazing high priority item knocked down guys)
  • Ordered the license plate “CATBOY” for the car with the brand new white on black Washington plate.
  • Fixed a problematic turn signal bulb by unplugging it and plugging it back in
  • Replaced the thermostat after a month of noticing car couldn’t get up to operating temps.
    • Also accidentally overheated it because I didn’t burp the coolant. Should be fine.
  • Broke the convertible soft top rear window
    • In my defense, it was already broken but I made it completely unrecoverable :(
  • Dropped $2300 on a hardtop and another $400 on shipping. But this hardtop was actually a hardtop I was planning on trading with another Z3 owner in the vicinity because his was some shade of green and my top was black.
    • Well the soft top isn’t really something I need to worry about anymore at least. Preferably I fix it soon but it’s not a must.
    • The traded green hardtop will be mounted next week I think.

It seems I’ve blown a couple bands on this car for cosmetic and laziness reasons before even addressing the water pump. My priorities are quite on point.

what i plan to do in the future

Despite the nonplussing list of things currently done to the car and my extremely limited mechanical skills, I hope to take on more and fully develop this car into something I’m actually proud of. Hopefully I don’t like crash it or break it irreparably before that happens.

The same guy I’m trading the hardtop for says he’ll probably sell his coilovers in March. This is a good opportunity to pounce. If not I’ll probably find some other Koni Yellows or Bilstein B12s to put on by then. My suspension is on the way out and I’d prefer better handling if I ever want to take this car to the track or whatnot, so I think this is worthwhile to hopefully not get wrecked too hard by a Miata.

When I bought the car I also realized the seat bushings were shot. This is a $5 part that’s tucked under the seat, so replacing it would mean removing the seat. If I find some M3 vaders I will be extremely motivated to do this replacement. I believe removing the seats is also a requisite for installing the defroster onto the hardtop so I’ll do that as well while I’m in there.

The first super involved thing I want to do is replace the transmission with a ZF from the M3. It’s the more robust transmission and from others’ experience has been able to take very large amounts of power without much compromise. Personally I’d aim to push about as much torque as the transmission is rated for, which is 320 lb-ft. People have had luck with more but I think I’d want to be a better driver before attempting anything too crazy. Moreover, the guy I bought the car from mentioned a transmission leak, so if true I am on borrowed time with the existing transmission anyway.

I may get to addressing the rest of the cooling system on this car in the next few months as well. If so, I’ll make the car run reliably and be free of the BMW M44’s biggest reliability issue. Hopefully the car will be problem-free and I won’t have to spend so much money on this car to keep it running.

But wouldn’t that just be so boring?

do i engine swap chat

One big problem of the BMW M44 is that it has no real redeeming qualities except being reliable. This would be great for a commuter, but I already have a commuter (and hopefully with the opening of the East Link Extension won’t even need one). And why would you want a commuter with the form factor of a roadster anyway? I’ve seen some options for supercharging or turbocharging the M44, but it seems like it would cost a good amount of money for either big reliability losses or very small performance gain. There’s also very little in the way of support, and the only people who are building anything for these engines are an ocean away. Worse, the M44 is also not great at handling much more power than stock. Pushing more than 200hp thru forced induction is pushing your luck.

I really hope to wake up from these delusions of grandeur soon, but I am not surrounding myself with great people to do so. But lately I’ve been considering throwing a K block in there. If I want to be really 烧包 I can even get the JDM models (K20A, K24A). Between these two, I’m leaning towards the K20A because it has the heritage of the FD2 Type R and is (I believe) shorter height-wise so easier to fit into the engine bay.

I did a bit of “research” on the logistics of this and some parts are taken care of. There is an adapter plate I can order to mate between the K20 and either the Getrag or ZF 5-speeds. The same seller lists engine mounts and intake manifold made for the E36, but I’ll need to check with the manufacturer to see if they fit on the Z3 or if I’m on my own. From the perspective of someone not even committed to doing the K-swap I am optimistic as the internals of the Z3 are roughly identical to those of the E36/5 318ti. Then, cooling and braking systems will also be a challenge, but hopefully not too much of one as the E36 bay is meant to be big enough to fit those things in a 6-cylinder.

I may need to do some bullshit metalwork for the exhaust headers. This will probably be a good opportunity for me to tune acoustics instead of just being acoustic. Speaking of tuning, I’ve also heard much of the BS after the mechanical part is tuning the engine with a standalone ECU. I’ll finally have an excuse to have a shitter laptop laying around so all’s well that ends well.

As far as accessories go, support for power steering and AC will be a big pain. I can replace my hydraulic power steering with an electric module or subject myself to the belt work of champions. There are kits for both options on the same website selling the K-swap kit. AC is a bit more tricky but I think I can forgo it for now given that I’m currently based in the PNW and can drive the car topless in the summer.

yapbert out

I think I’ve got a lot of ideas for what I want to do to this car. Probably none of them are going to be committed to unless I have the willpower of a steel bar. But I am excited to drive and work on this thing, and hope to make something I’m proud of looking back.

I also hope to stay away from crippling debt, but that’s hardly a guarantee.